Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
