wrigley field is MILF paradise
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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