I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
