Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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