i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize