I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
