'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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