White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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