____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
