it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Help me help you realize you are a moron
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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