hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
