didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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