He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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