it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
