Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
