Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
