if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
