Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
