we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
