he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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