I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
