i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
