i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
