Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
