Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
