Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
