She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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