have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
