Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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