good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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