Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
