my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
