We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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