Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
