He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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