We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
