ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
