How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize