I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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