ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's never too late to be topless.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You ruined the universe
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
