i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
