I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
