Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
