Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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