Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
