pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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