I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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