God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
