we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
