She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize