I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
