My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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