the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
