you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
