i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
