so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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