i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
