Can Purell be used as lube?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
