So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
