I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
