Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
