i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
