The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
we're so committed to being not committed
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
