32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
